A Proper Perspective on Guys

      When I was a little girl I couldn't wait till I was old enough to date.  Daydreaming, I imagined that some guy would pick me up, take me to a nice restaurant and then pay the bill.  What's not to look forward to?!  Since then I have come to realize there is a lot more to guy/girl relationships.  One of the ways my view has changed the most is on my perspective when it comes to young men in my life.
     According to the world, men are like extension ladders, women prop them up only to use them to get what they want.  If you desire love, you flirt, tease and flaunt your body.  If they stand in your way of achieving some form of success, you manipulate, belittle or even humiliate them to get your way.  But is that how God wants us to view the men in our lives?

"Treat....younger women as sisters, in all purity."

1 Timothy 5:2

     Paul exhorted young Timothy to treat his sisters in Christ with all purity.  For young ladies, the reverse is also true.  The brothers in Christ who surround us are deserving of honor, respect and love, in all purity.  We should esteem the young men in our lives as we encourage them to rise to the call of following Christ wholeheartedly and becoming men  of God.   This requires viewing relationships with young men in a different light.
Evaluation Points:

• In my speech, do I tease young men, try to make them feel inferior and put them down or do I honor them by esteeming them?  
• Do I honor men in the role of authority God has given them?  (specifically think about your brother and father.  How you treat them will most likely be reflected in how you treat others.)
• Is my behavior towards guys characterized by respect?

     Security, acceptance and love are often what young women are after when they desire or pursue a relationship with a young man.  However, we have it all backwards.  When approaching relationships with the opposite sex we should have the mindset of what can I give, not what can I get. 

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, 

but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3 

     No young man, even your future husband will every be able to satisfy the cravings of your soul.  Only Christ can.  When there is no need to seek fulfillment in a relationship because we are completely satisfied in Christ, a door of opportunity is opened to encourage, challenge and point young men to Christ.  

Evaluation Points:

• Do I find my complete fulfillment in Christ or do I look to relationships to satisfy that hunger? 
• Does my interaction with young men follow the pattern of drawing their attention to me or pointing them to Christ?
•  Do I feel as though I have to measure up to young men or am I secure in Christ?    

     Girls can have a pretty wild imagination.  For some of us, as soon as we meet a guy we smoosh our first name and his last name together, wondering if it sounds good and if he is "the one".  While the desire to be married is completely natural, what we do with this desire will dictate whether our interaction with the opposite sex is pure.  So how do we avoid allowing this question to harm our interaction with young men? 
1) Pray - I have found the minute this question pops into my mind that consciously praying works wonders.  When left at the Lord's feet He, I know that it is in His hands and that He will work out His plan.  The responsibility is off my shoulders and in His.
2) He's not available - We ladies do a good job at playing the "name it claim it game".   If he's single and I like him, he's mine.  Rather, we should have the opposite mindset.  I can put no claim on any young man until we have said, "I do."  If He is "the one", for now He belongs to God and if he isn't, this young man belongs to another woman.  I need to treat him as if he's not "the one" by viewing him as already married.
                    - If you are really struggling in your feelings towards a particular young man, I would encourage  you to pray for his future wife.  Earnestly ask God to prepare her for marriage, sanctify her in His truth and bring her to this young man's life in His timing.
3) Fully Fulfilled - What we must ask ourselves is, "Why do I even have these thoughts or feelings towards young men I might not really know?"  The answer: we are hungry, hungry for love, affection, acceptance and appreciation.  We must come to the realization that no one can fulfill or satisfy us, only Christ can.  He must become our all in all, the husband of our souls and the One we abide in.   The woman at the well had to go through five husbands before she found that only Christ could satisfy her longing soul.  May we not make the same mistake.